For the past few months, Whitney and I have had the opportunity to take grandma B out every other week. This is good for us and helps my mom a little because she feels a lot of responsibility in caring for and taking grandma out. Grandma is a social bee and loves to be out shopping everyday. We take her to lunch, we go grocery shopping, we take her to have her nails done and just shop...whatever she wants or whatever errands we need to run, we take her along.
Grandma never runs out of energy and she's always so positive, thankful and happy. I don't think I've ever seen my grandma mad or grumpy, oh wait, how can I forget the soccer field last month (but aside from that, haha). She's always saying "I'm so blessed!" Yesterday while we were out, half the road was closed because street workers were laying down new asphalt and using tar to fix old patches. Grandma looked at the work they were doing and remembered a memory. She then told me that when she was young she remembers she and her friends would dig up warm tar off the streets and chew it. What?? I looked at grandma in disgust. I said "that probably wasn't very good for you" and she replied "well, I guess it wasn't bad for us either, look at me, I'm still alive and kicking!" She is so spunky and funny and always laughing at herself. She is someone I look up to.
Her first husband, Gordon, my mom's dad, died from a heart attack at age 57 and then a week later, grandma lost her sister in a house fire. She was devastated, but endured and found love again. Her life with Gordon was like that in the Norman Rockwell paintings...they had three kids, went to church every Sunday and due to Gordon being in the Army, they moved a lot, living in Salt Lake, Virginia, Texas, Arizona, Rhode Island and back to Salt Lake. Grandma doesn't talk much about how she got through losing her husband and sister, but I can sometimes see in her eyes a longing for her first love.
Her first husband, Gordon, my mom's dad, died from a heart attack at age 57 and then a week later, grandma lost her sister in a house fire. She was devastated, but endured and found love again. Her life with Gordon was like that in the Norman Rockwell paintings...they had three kids, went to church every Sunday and due to Gordon being in the Army, they moved a lot, living in Salt Lake, Virginia, Texas, Arizona, Rhode Island and back to Salt Lake. Grandma doesn't talk much about how she got through losing her husband and sister, but I can sometimes see in her eyes a longing for her first love.
A few years later, she met a handsome, wealthy California business man named Al Bedard. He charmed grandma and she fell hard for him. They married and she lived an extravagant lifestyle on an estate with a pool on Lantana Avenue in California. They traveled everywhere in the world, they went on cruises and danced the night away, she was spoiled with lavish jewels and anything her little heart could desire.
Every summer, our family would spend a week at their home. We had our own private wing in the house just for our family. To this day, whenever I smell the green Irish Clean soap I think of taking a bath in that house after swimming in the pool all day long. We went to Disneyland, Knottsberry Farm, the swap meet and Polly's Pie's every year. We played rummi-kub until the wee hours of the night on the patio by the pool. Grandma and mom would mom would make us lunch and I have such vivid memories of barely being able to take the time to get out of the pool to eat and when we did come out of the pool, our fingers were always puckered and our sandwiches would be soaked from eating them with wet fingers. I remember getting to drink pop at grandma's house, something we didn't get that often at home. I remember riding our skateboards down their driveway and looking for frogs in the yard. I have so many great memories of vacationing with grandma and Al in that home on Lantana Avenue. Grandma lived a life so different from her life with Gordon and she seemed happy. But, Al was an alcoholic and sometimes didn't treat grandma very kindly. After quite a few years of this, she decided it was time to get out. She divorced Al after 15 years of marriage and he died a year later, from a broken heart. He loved grandma so much and missed her so much, but he loved drinking more.
It was hard to watch grandma begin a new life without Al, but she did it and never complained and never once talked bad of Al or looked back on her decision to leave him even though she left with only the shirt on her back. She took pride in finding great finds at local thrift stores to furnish and decorate her new apartment and try to make it a home with the limited income she had. She loves nick-knacks and finding treasures and decorated her home beautifully. My mom, Whitney and I visited her often while she lived in the apartment.
Grandma soon met a gentleman named Berk and he fell hard for grandma. Berk was always so sweet and kind and gentle with grandma. He loved her so much. He asked her to marry him quite a few times until she said yes. They married and she moved into his condo. Garrett and I visited gram and Berk a few times while they lived in that condo. We have good memories of swimming with Kenna and Ashlyn in their pool, going to Disneyland and swamp meets and doing many of the same things I grew up doing in Cali.
About 5 years later, Berk began to have some health problems and one weekend his daughters came and moved him out of his place and into an assisted living home close to them. They put the condo up for sale and grandma was kicked out of her home. Grandma was devastated and couldn't understand why his daughters would just take him away and not let grandma visit him or even call him. They had always been jealous of grandma and fearful that she was going to take all of his money, but that's not how grandma was. She's always been frugal and stuck to a budget. Money means nothing to grandma. Berk died a few years later and grandma never even knew until a mutual friend of theirs told her that he had died. Grandma loved Berk.
At this time, my parents decided it was time for her to be close to them. So they hooked up their trailer and drove to California and loaded her things up and bring her back home to Utah. Grandma was hesitant at first because she loves the warm California sunshine and not the cold winter months in Utah. She says the cold just chills her to the bone and grandma doesnt' have any fat on her to warm those bones!
Mom found a great assisted-living home for grandma just 3 miles from their home and she has been there ever since. It's a beautiful place and she's met many more dashing and handsome men...she goes dancing every Thursday evening and has more boyfriends than any 94 year-old I know. Grandma sure has a knack for finding good-looking men. She soon met Lynn after moving in and they became an item. Lynn was so much fun. He was kind of a crotchety old man who loved to swear and had the most beautiful head of white hair. He was handsome and he and grandma had fun together. They snuggled and laughed and kissed like they were teenagers when they were together. When Lynn died, about 5 years later, grandma attended his funeral and was even hit on by one of the men working at the funeral home. My mom had to tell the man that grandma was mourning the loss of her boyfriend and not to bother her. She is always being hit on...it's amazing! She's always said she gets along better with men than women because women tend to be jealous...great wisdom from a great woman!
Within a week of Lynn's passing, she met a new man, Ben. Ben is her current beau. She loves his family and enjoys spending her days with him. She's always calling him Lynn and we are always correcting her...I told you she was funny! She's beginning to lose her memory and it's frustrating to mom and especially to grandma because she realizes she can't remember things.
I'm thankful I can spend time with my grandma and learn more about her. I've learned she loved eating onion sandwhiches and drinking fresh cows milk with one young man she dated. I know she loves a good hamburger, fried zucchini and her diet Coke. I've noticed she always notices the mountains and beautiful blue sky. She loves flowers and always notices everything that's good.
Yesterday while we were out, I ran into an old high school friend at Target. We chatted while grandma tried on a sweater. Grandma came out and I introduced them to each other. My friend said "I wish my grandma were still alive, you're lucky to have each other" Grandma and I said at the same time "Oh, I'm the lucky one!" Then my friend said something I won't forget, she said "That's the funny thing about love, it blesses everyone." I don't want to forget that.
