My aunt Joan is the Laurel advisor in her ward and one of her young women, is deaf and going through a pretty rough time in life...feeling very isolated and alone. That was Whitney when she was in young womens...being shunned, ignored, teased, judged, just basically left out and made to feel like it was her fault for being deaf. It was a very tough time in her life. I am four years older than Whitney, and growing up we weren't close - we would fight over clothes and everything else under the sun. Communication was hard and I didn't take the time that was needed to be close with her (I hate to admit that and it's something I now regret, because I know I missed out on a lot with her and I know I could have helped make things easier for her...I deeply regret that).
When I got married and then especially when McKenna was born, Whitney and I really began to bond. I remember she would skip days of work (lots of days) and sneak up to our house to hang out with McKenna and me (mostly McKenna - they have always shared a unique bond and I love that). I loved getting a call from her saying she was on her way for the day.
So, when our aunt Joan called to see if we could come talk to her young women, even with all Whitney's been through this last month, she felt the urgency to speak to these girls and welcomed the invitation.
Whitney spoke of what a blessing it is to turn a weakness into a strength...in a way, to have come full circle...to go from being a young woman with no friends (in the ward) to now speaking to young women all over the state and sharing the message of how much good a kind word or smile can do...she spoke a lot about not knowing the affect we can have on others - what you say or do really affects everyone you come in touch with, either for good or bad. Whitney really embraces the idea that to say something kind doesn't take anything away from you...it just builds the other person - sometimes in a way you will never know. It's too bad we don't compliment others more often - maybe it's out of jealousy or insecurities, who knows...but I do know that it does such good. I have seen the glow and confidence a genuine compliment can bring.
I, of course, love to hear Whitney speak, so I was on board 100%. Every time I hear Whitney speak about her life I am always uplifted (and brought to tears). Even though a lot of her story is heartbreaking, she never complains about anything she's been through or the many trials she's endured. She even makes light of the many funny things that have happened in her life because of her deafness. She never wishes it could be different...she is so inspiring and so genuine and everyone feels this. Every time she speaks she makes 100 new friends...people are drawn to her because of her ease and because she is just so dang beautiful!!!
Lately, I look at Whitney in such a different light and I pray (literally) that it will never change. I've always loved her, but I now cherish her more than ever and the love and respect I have for Russ is so different than I felt before. I never realized that by serving someone so selflessly I would reap such incredible blessings. I've had many chances to serve and I've taken many chances to serve, but to serve my sister just by loving her boys and being there for her to cry with has been life changing for me. I'm so glad she's my sister. I'm glad my kids have such an amazing aunt...I know if they could choose to live with anyone, it would be her. I'm glad she has forgiven me for the way I treated her when we were little. I learn so much just from watching how she lives her life and how she treats others.
After the meeting, we were able to enjoy a delicious dinner with Jim & Joan, Jodi & Mike and Jenni & Reid and their cute babies - it was a great Sunday.
P.S. just a little 'shout out' to heaven...Happy Birthday Grandma Gutke! Today my sweet grandma would have been 97. Last night as we ate oreo cookies I mentioned to the kids that grandma's birthday would be today...they immediately began sharing their memories of grandma "Cookie". They remember jumping on her bed - she always let them jump on her bed, she even encouraged it - what a fun memory they have of that! They talked about how she would save her little bags of cookies and chips she would win from playing Bingo and give them all to them when we would visit. Tears filled my eyes as they shared these special memories. I still miss her, but try each day to be the kind of person she always thought I was...she loved deeply and it was felt by everyone. I thought I was her favorite grandchild, but in talking with my brothers and sister and even my cousins, she made us all feel that way. That's a gift she gave to each of us and something I will always cherish.
picture of grandma gutke with all four kids
My grandma and the kids...July 2006, just a few months before she passed away and below with Wyatt just moments after he was born...she was beautiful!!
